How to Stop Saying "Um," "Like," "You Know" and Other Filler Words
- Laura Doman
- 6 hours ago
- 6 min read
They hurt our credibility! What are filler words and why do we use them?
Um, yeah, well, like, you know … uh … cat got your tongue?
Yes, sometimes it does. These are “filler words” and they detract from could otherwise be an engaging, eloquent presentation. Overusing them makes us look less credible, knowledgeable, and confident – and cost us viewers as they click away from our video.
We all use fillers, though, from time to time, especially when …
we don’t what to say or how to say it
we’re trying to remember a specific word that’s just on the tip of our tongue
we’re surprised, embarrassed, or simply unprepared.
We also use filler words as temporary placeholders to let others know we’re not quite done with our thoughts, even if we need a bit longer to express them.
Peppering your speech with "um" and "you know" makes you seem less professional ... or prepared.
How filler words affect your professional image
No one really likes a vaccuum
Silence can be rather awkward. Unless, of course, you have a teenager at home, in which case it may be par for the course. So we learn to fill the silence with something.
Most people would rather hem and haw a bit than leave a conversation – or speech or presentation – hanging mid-sentence. It’s downright embarrassing to have an unexpected, awkward silence between you and an audience when all eyes are on you, just waiting for you to speak, wondering if you’ve forgotten what you wanted to say.
It’s not much easier when you’re speaking to the camera for a video. You can stop and start the recording, of course, and later edit out the stumbles and unintended pauses, but your momentum will have been interrupted and your confidence and/or train of thought thrown off track.
Regardless of the size of your audience, stumbling over your words and using too many fillers does not give the best impression of you as a speaker or conversationalist.
Filler words in everyday speech
But wait! We use fillers all the time in normal, everyday conversation and we’re not called out for them. Who doesn’t insert an “uh” or “you know” once in a while? We’re naturally disfluent; very few people speak so eloquently that they could double for Alistair Cooke from “Masterpiece Theater.”
Using a filler once in a while is OK, even while speaking in public or in a video. Just be aware of them and minimize their use. Too many fillers and these verbal crutches will just detract from your credibility, steal attention away from what you’re trying to say, and give people the distinct impression that you’re nervous or – worse – unprepared.
Fluency is a sign of a confident, competent leader. So let’s figure out a solution or three.
3 simple steps to overcome filler words
How to identify your most common filler words
The first step is to be aware of your favorite filler. Maybe it’s “um” or the Valley Girl favorite, “like.” Or the ubiquitous “well…” or “you know.” That last one drives me nuts. No … I don’t know.
Do you know what you sound like? Hit the "voice recorder" or "voice memo" app on your phone and just start talking about the weather, your favorite subject, or even what your plans are for the upcoming weekend. Don't think about it - just talk! Play it back and see if you hear any fillers coming up repeatedly in your one-sided conversation.
Another option is to record a casual conversation with another person, either via phone or in-person. Just check with them first, explain the reason for you wanting to record, and make sure you have their permission.
You can also ask a friend or relative who knows you well. Have they noticed you stumbling over your words or relying on fillers when you're trying to think of an appropriate phrase? Good, honest feedback is invaluable.
What Triggers Your Filler Habit?
The second step is to discover when and why it comes up most. What’s the trigger? Maybe nervousness? Or uncertainty? Perhaps it’s the size of the audience? You’re OK with small groups, but uncomfortable with large audiences?
When you’re feeling stressed, your speech patterns will be more stressed, too. Practice will help, whether you're in person or recording to the camera. You WILL improve over time. If you're introverted, you may actually find that it's easier to speak more naturally and fluently to the camera than to another person who's in the room with you.
Track Your Filler Frequency
Finally, figure out how often you use your favorite filler word. Remember in the first step how you can record yourself or ask a friend to give some feedback? Ouch. Painful, but eye-opening.
Record yourself giving a presentation, even if it's only for ten minutes or so. That'll be long enough to see if you use filler words in every breath (something to work on!) or just every so often, which is normal and often not distracting. Infrequent usage may not even need correction!
Effective strategies for reducing filler words in your speech
3 Suggestions for eliminating fillers
Now let’s talk about several ideas for getting rid of those fillers:
Slow down! People speed up when they’re nervous or excited and the mind can outrun the tongue, leaving you struggling to keep up.
Stick to short sentences. This reduces the mental processing load and helps you become more fluent.
Use pauses. They don’t have to be long! And they won’t seem nearly as long to your audience or viewers as they seem to you.
Why pausing Is more powerful than you think
Do you realize that we use pauses all the time in conversational speech? Unless someone’s a motor-mouth, we all pause from time to time to emphasize a point, think about we want to say, or deliberately use for dramatic effect. It’s a great way to build suspense and have your audience lean in to catch what’s next.
How long should a pause be? Studies have clocked three different rates, all of which work depending on the context:
Short pauses - less than half a second long
Medium pauses - about 2/3 of a second
Long pauses - a second or two
They’re all quick and give just enough time to collect our thoughts and make our point without making us sound nervous, unsure, or unprepared. Pauses are natural, so don’t be afraid of using them when you need to. How long or short? The bigger the lead-in or suspense you want to build, the longer the pause. A very short one pause can jolt your listener’s attention. A long two second pause can work wonders in a story told around the campfire.
Bonus: Using a pause here and there also helps calm our nerves. Why? Because it gives us a chance to (literally) catch our breath, pace ourselves, and relax a bit. Maybe even enjoy the moment and the whole point of why we’re talking to a group or to the camera in the first place.
Laura's Quick Tips
Slow your rate of speech! No rush to get your words out.
Use short, simple sentences to get your ideas across.
Use pauses to gather your thoughts BEFORE you speak.
A Little Daily Practice
If you want to get better at eliminating filler words, remember that practice over time is the key to improvement.
Yes, pull out that cell phone again and press record to either a video or a voice memo app. See what happens when you slow down a little. Break up your sentences and throw in a pause now and then before completing a thought.
Make it a daily habit, just talking about something mundane like what you had for breakfast.
After practicing privately, take it out into everyday casual conversations. Are people more interested in what you have to say? Are you coming across as more confident or thoughtful? OK, occasionally you may be interrupted by someone thinking you’d finished talking when you’re just pausing, but just let it roll off your back. Especially if it’s a family member. (That’s just what they do.)
Remember, you’re training yourself to be a better public speaker – on or off camera. And you’ll find people listening to you much more often when you come across as a thoughtful, fluent speaker. Someone who clearly know what they’re talking about.
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I'm Laura Doman, a voice & TV/film actor and video communications coach. As an actor, I create memorable characters that tell my client's stories well, from the friendly CEO to your sassy best gal pal dispensing real-world advice. As a coach, I help you become more comfortable and charismatic on camera in videos, presentations, and online appearances.
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