Ditch Perfectionism. Be the Train Wreck.
Perfectionism is boring. There's a reason accidents draw rubber-neckers.
If your goal is to be the picture perfect on-camera speaker ... STOP IT. Stop it right now. You're heading in the wrong direction.
Perfectionism is boring. B-O-R-I-N-G.
Perfection, by definition, is unattainable. Excellence, yes, that's a worthy and doable goal. Perfection will always just be out of reach.
Human quirks, personalities, and even mistakes are so much more relatable, watchable, and entertaining.
If you want eyeballs on your videos, media appearances, and online presentations, quit emulating the 'bots and be unequivocally and unapologetically human.
Train wrecks are fascinating
Let's be honest. While most of us enjoy a well-organized, well-delivered speech or presentation, the ones most memorable are often those went off track.
Something happened.
The technology failed and the speaker was left stranded without notes or visual aids and had to wing it.
An audience member challenged the speaker and exposed him or her as unprepared, not forthcoming (even a bit of dishonest), not as knowledgeable as supposed, or openly hostile at being challenged.
A physical, mental, or emotional breakdown by either the speaker/presenter or an audience member.
These are pattern disruptions - no one saw them coming! The interest lies in how the speaker handles them successfully. Done well, those trust, credibility, and respect metrics increase dramatically and prove to be blessings in disguise. Mishandled, well, those make great stories shared around the social media water cooler.
It's not like we're trying to make a train wreck happen - it is and should be a rare occurrence. It's that we should give ourselves time to acquire and develop new skills. And be as patient with ourselves getting there as we would be for anyone else.
The hardest thing is just to get started
Stop second-guessing everything you're doing in the pursuit of "getting it right." Especially if you want to stand out amongst both AI avatars and your human competitors, lead with your unique personality and perspectives. No one else is quite like you, and there is no right way of being you. Except to just be you.
Your skills and comfort at speaking on camera will improve over time. Everyone has to start somewhere, Everyone makes mistakes or does things inefficiently or ineffectively at first. Me, too. I look at my earliest videos and see that I was too presentational vs. conversational and far too focused on getting the information out there, rather than sharing it more personably with my audience. I learned. I'm still learning. You can and will, too. But if you don't get started, you'll never begin that journey. You'll never improve.
People are far more patient and understanding with us that we are with ourselves. So give yourself permission to try and fly, even if your running start lands you flat on your face. Pick yourself up, review what you didn't do too well, make adjustments, and go again.
On Camera Confidence is a process, one that you CAN develop to look and sound great while developing a reputation as a go-to expert. Here are a few of my favorite tips:
Relax - enjoy the message vs. worrying how you come across. Let go of worries about your appearance or how people will judge your expertise. When you focus on sharing what's important and do so from both your heart and mind, your knowledge and passion will shine through and leave a noticeable impact.
Visualize your story's roadmap - know the journey you'll take your audience on by telling it as a story with a beginning, middle, and end. Stories naturally pique our interest and draw us in to the storyteller. Thinking of your message as a story keeps you on track, too, and provides structure to your material. Having difficulty keeping the stops along the journey in order, without missing a single one? Create visual images for each part of the journey and imagine a narrative where each image by necessity leads to the next.
Enjoy your role as a storyteller - even if you're called upon to update a group with rather dry facts, find the interest, find the fun in what you have to say, and share your enthusiasm. When your audience sees that you're enjoying sharing information, they'll find it more interesting, too.
Want to make a strong impression? Learn to be comfortable in your own skin - even on camera! - and showcase your confidence and unique personality,
Don't keep tweaking 'til the cows come home
Those cows are on a bovine bender and they're NOT coming home anytime soon. Some tweaking is good. You'll improve. No problem. Overworking your material or delivery, though, can be a drain of time, resources, and energy without enough benefits to justify the effort. We call that rapidly diminishing returns.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't strive for excellence. You should! Just don't fall into the perfection trap.
Excellence vs. Perfection. The cold, hard truth is that perfection is a goal imagined differently by each person, and often reset.
When is enough, ENOUGH?
And good, GOOD ENOUGH?
The answer: usually when it involves limited available time and money. Or patience: yours, friends, family, or co-workers. Or when someone grabs whatever you're working on and hits you over the head with it. That's a clear indication that you might have slid into obsession.
Try this instead:
Know your constraints and honor them
If that means setting limits to the amount of time and money you can spend on something, decide what those limits are BEFORE beginning work. Then stick to then. Yes, that calls for self-discipline. I know, it's painful. But it's better than a knock on the noggin.
Define what you consider to be an excellent result
Make sure that it's a reasonable goal and achievable within your constraints. Write it down, keep it clearly in mind, but make sure it's realistic. If it helps, share your goal and your work with others for outside opinions. Just make sure you ask those who have your best interests at heart!
Focus on creating and delivering the excellent rather than the perfect
Do your best with what you have. Don't spend unnecessary time and/or money tweaking towards perfection when you can create an excellent result on time and within budget. If you're bumping against a deadline, chances are you'll grow impatient with yourself, discouraged by your efforts, and end up getting barely anything done. In other words, perfectly unproductive. (Congrats, I guess - you achieved perfection. Just not how you imagined it.) And if you're in a sour mood, you probably won't be much fun at parties, either.
Be gracious to yourself and allow time for improvement
This is especially applicable to the performance part of speaking on camera. It takes time. If you stumble during a live presentation or livestream interview, collect yourself and go on. No big deal, we've all been there. If you're creating a video ... guess what? You can edit out the flubs in post-production. Return to the beginning of the point your stumbled on and just go over it again. Presto, magico - it comes across smoothly in the final edit.
Remember that DONE imperfectly is often better than INCOMPLETE
Are you on a tight deadline? This is where perfection can be the enemy of good. Sometimes having a project done well enough and delivered on time is far more preferable than having a more polished version completed too late or not at all.
Laura's Quick Tips
Working on a project? Strive for excellence, not perfection. Improve. Don't obsess.
Know and work within your limits - every project has some sort of deadline and budget attached to it. Honor them.
Don't waste time on diminishing returns, especially if no one else can tell the difference between "tweaked" and "not tweaked." You'll end up frustrated and risk burnout.
If you screwed up, you screwed up. Sometimes how you handle things counts more than how well you talked about them.
Take a chance at something new or scary. You'll improve with time and experience. We thrive when we allow ourselves to expand and grow, even if it seems a little risky at the time.
I'm a recovering perfectionist. I've had to learn some of these lessons the hard way because I have wasted time trying to perfect something that really did not need it. Conversely, sometimes I've made the end result worse by unwittingly overworking it.
Acting training taught me that one. Because acting is an art, not a science, and one that requires a measure of spontaneity. And nothing kills spontaneous, authentic response than overplanning. Even in theater, where performances are repeated over and over, the best actors find something new in each retelling of the story so that it doesn't appear stale, uninspired, or over-rehearsed to the audience. In film and TV, some of the most memorable scenes are created from spontaneous, honest reactions to what's happening in the moment, not what's been scripted on paper. And these are the ones that prove to be far more "perfect" than those originally planned.
Additionally, the performance element - whether it's acting, public speaking, or teaching - is perceived subjectively, not quantitatively measured. The content can be measured, but the impact that the actor, speaker, or instructor leaves differs with each person who receives it.
The moral of the story is to let go of the harsh self-judgment, the thinking that you're falling short of the mark, or that you'll be "found out" to be less than adequate. (That's the ol' imposter syndrome!) You're holding yourself back!
Focus on what you have to say, find the joy or fun of sharing it, and allow yourself to make mistakes. Hey, if you want to make an impact, don't be afraid of the train wreck. Own it, work through it, and rise above it.
Want to learn more? Let's talk!
I'm Laura Doman, a voice & TV/film actor and video communications coach. As an actor, I create memorable characters that tell my client's stories well, from the friendly CEO to your sassy best gal pal dispensing real-world advice. As a coach, I help you become more comfortable and charismatic on camera in videos, presentations, and online appearances.
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